Intrusive Thoughts and How to Respond

Have you ever had a thought that felt completely out of place? Maybe it was disturbing, confusing, or so unlike you that it made you question yourself? If so, you’re not alone.

You’re in the Majority

Research shows that 90% of people admit to experiencing intrusive thoughts – meaning almost everyone has them. The difference isn’t whether or not you have these thoughts, but how you respond to them. If you’ve ever thought, “Does having this thought make me a bad person?” then by that logic, almost everyone would be “bad.”

But that’s not how thoughts work.

Why Do Intrusive Thoughts Feel So Disturbing?

Intrusive thoughts are called intrusive for a reason – they pop into our minds uninvited and often go against our morals and values. In psychology, we call this “ego-dystonic” – thoughts that don’t align with who we are.

To understand this, try this exercise:

  1. Think about your personal values – what truly matters to you? Maybe it’s kindness, love, or supporting others. When you focus on these values, they probably bring a sense of warmth and fulfillment.
  2. Now, think about how your intrusive thoughts make you feel – most likely, uneasy, unsettled, or even afraid. That emotional reaction is actually evidence that these thoughts are not a reflection of you.

Intrusive thoughts only feel distressing because they contradict the person you are.

Why Fighting Intrusive Thoughts Makes Them Worse

Here’s the tricky part: The more you try to push intrusive thoughts away, the stronger they become. It’s like telling yourself not to think about a penguin – suddenly, that’s all your brain wants to focus on.

Trying to “get rid” of an intrusive thought reinforces the idea that it’s dangerous or meaningful. This cycle of fear and resistance gives the thought power, even though the thought itself is harmless.

What Actually Helps?

Instead of fighting intrusive thoughts, try this approach:

  • Acknowledge them without reacting. When an intrusive thought pops up, notice it like background noise rather than engaging with it.
  • Remind yourself: “This is just a thought.” Thoughts are not facts, nor do they define you.
  • Allow the discomfort to exist. Instead of scrambling to push the thought away, practice sitting with the discomfort and letting it fade on its own.
  • Focus on your actions, not your thoughts. You don’t need to control every thought to be a good person. What matters is how you live according to your values.

Final Reminder: Thoughts Are Not Threats

Intrusive thoughts do not mean anything about you. It’s not the thought that’s the problem – it’s how you respond to it. The goal is not to eliminate intrusive thoughts, but to change the way you interact with them so they lose their grip over you.

If intrusive thoughts are interfering with your life, therapy – especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) – can be incredibly effective in breaking the cycle. Reach out to us today to schedule a session.

Overcoming OCD: Steps to Stop Compulsions

Dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often involves a relentless cycle of compulsions that can either pop up sporadically or dominate your entire day. These compulsions might manifest as physical actions like excessive handwashing, checking locks multiple times, or mentally through behaviors such as seeking reassurance or ruminating over fears. Handling these compulsions is exhausting and can feel like a battle you’re stuck in.

Step One: Uncover the Patterns of Your OCD

The journey to managing your OCD effectively begins with understanding the specific themes of your intrusive thoughts. A practical first step is keeping a detailed journal. By documenting your intrusive thoughts alongside the compulsions they trigger, you can start to see patterns. This recognition is vital—it’s like mapping out the battleground so you can strategize effectively.

Step Two: Confronting and Disarming Your Fears

Identifying your fears is crucial, but the real challenge lies in diminishing their power over you. The essence of breaking free from compulsions lies in changing how you respond to these fears. The goal is to reach a point where these fears no longer drive you to perform compulsions.

Case in Point: Facing Fear of Contamination

Take, for example, the fear that bringing home germs could make your family severely ill. This fear might lead you to avoid touching anything when out shopping and to wash your hands repeatedly until they feel “clean”. This behavior, though it feels protective, is driven by an overwhelming fear of illness.

To challenge this, it’s necessary to shift your perspective. Consider the reality that most illnesses are common and generally not severe. Even if it does become severe, chances are your family will likely be fine. By accepting this, the fear loses its grip, and the compulsion to wash your hands excessively or avoid public places can decrease. It’s about embracing a more balanced view—acknowledging that while illness isn’t desirable, it’s a manageable part of life.

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Broadening the Approach

This method of directly addressing and rationalizing fears can be applied across all types of OCD—be it fears about harm, sexuality, relationships, or contamination. By confronting the base fear, the compulsions lose their urgency, making it easier for your mind to move past them without looping back continuously.

Navigating Forward

Adopting a mindset that tolerates uncertainty and discomfort is key to overcoming OCD. This doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a process that involves gradual steps and often professional support. Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is a move towards regaining control from OCD. Patience and persistence are your allies on this journey toward recovery.

Seeking Professional Guidance

While the strategies discussed here are a great start, personalized support from a mental health professional will make a significant difference in managing OCD. At our practice, we specialize in helping individuals navigate their OCD challenges with comprehensive and compassionate care. Don’t hesitate to reach out and schedule your appointment with us today. Together, we can work towards a life where OCD no longer defines your day-to-day experiences.