We set up mothers to believe that having a child will be the happiest day of their life. The days following birth, however, seem to feel not-so-happy.
If this feels like you, you might be experiencing postpartum (or post-childbirth) depression. A more mild version of this, known as the “baby blues”, typically only lasts three to five days following childbirth.
However, experiencing more than two weeks of extreme flatness or carelessness for yourself and/or your child is not healthy and should be taken seriously.
One in nine new mothers experience postpartum depression. If you think you are affected by it, keep reading for guidance on how to get through it.
What Are the Symptoms of Postpartum Depression?
Some women keep these symptoms to themselves out of fear of looking like a bad mother.
Our bodies go through a world of changes during pregnancy and giving birth. Every woman is prone to postpartum depression, but not every woman feels it. Your hormone levels are still gradually returning to normal, and you are not a bad mother nor an exceptional case because of it. You deserve the help you need, and you (and your baby) don’t deserve to suffer.
Here are the symptoms you should look out for:
- Feeling flat, emotionless, or hopeless most of the time for longer than 2 weeks after giving birth.
- Feeling disinterested in the baby, almost as if it is someone else’s child.
- Feeling restless, moody, or overwhelmed.
- Crying excessively.
- Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby.
- Having trouble with focus and decision-making.
- Withdrawing from loved ones.
- Experiencing unexplained, lasting headaches, body aches, or stomach issues.
Getting Help
Many mothers feel an intense need to be “perfect” after giving birth, setting up unrealistic goals for themselves. When they don’t meet these goals, their depression quickly escalates and ironically impacts their ability to care for their child.
Just because you’re the one who gave birth doesn’t mean you have to be the one putting in the most work (at first). Your body just did a TON of work, and if you are breastfeeding, it is doing even more.
In this case, it can be helpful to be honest with your loved ones and pass off every baby responsibility that you can. There is no need to feel guilty for this. That is why we use the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.” As the mom, you are mayor of the village, delegating responsibilities to each townie. Let yourself accept help from others.
If the road to feeling better seems bumpier than you can handle, call a doctor or therapist for help. You can also ask your partner or a loved one to call on your behalf. Taking the time to take care of yourself is inherently taking care of your baby.
Ways to Improve at Home
This may sound like an uphill battle, but get as much sleep as you can. Keep a bed, couch, or rocking chair by the baby’s crib so you can sleep comfortably while they sleep. Work out a system with trusted family members to take baby responsibilities off your plate so you can rest or re-energize with friends or your partner.
Consider joining an online or in-person support group of new moms. Your doctor should have recommendations for a few in your area. It is always nice to have someone who relates to you in your life when no one else can.
Keep life as simple as possible—try to avoid any big life changes like switching jobs or buying a new house. Sometimes these are inevitable, and in those cases you should gather as much support from loved ones as you can to manage it all. Turn on your at-work brain to come up with a strategy that suits your family best.
The most important part of getting through postpartum depression is being realistic with yourself and asking for help. If you can do those two things, you will be golden.
The one person who can help you the most with this is a counselor who gets it. Reach out to one of ours today and together, we can come up with a game plan to get you back to feeling like yourself again.
