The First 24 Hours After Discovery

If you found out today, this is meant to be read today. It won’t tell you what to decide. It’s meant to help you get through the next 24 hours without making things worse for yourself.

Take Care of the Basics

Shock affects the body before it affects the mind. Try to eat something, even if you’re not hungry. Try to sleep, even if it’s broken sleep. If you can, avoid driving or operating anything demanding while you’re this activated.

Tell Someone, Carefully

You don’t have to carry this completely alone, but you also don’t have to tell everyone tonight. One trusted person, someone who won’t repeat what you say, is usually enough for now.

Be Careful With Big Decisions

This is not the day to move out, file anything, post anything publicly, or make promises you can’t take back. Strong emotion and permanent decisions don’t mix well. If something needs to happen immediately for your safety, that’s different, and it should happen. Everything else can wait a little.

If Safety Is a Concern

If you are afraid of your partner, or afraid of what you or they might do, please reach out to someone right now: a trusted friend, or a local crisis resource. In Santa Clara County, the county crisis line is 855-278-4204, and Uplift Family Services can be reached at 877-412-7474. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, you can call or text 988 anytime, anywhere in the United States.

What Comes Next

Once you’re through the first day, The First 72 Hours After Discovery covers what tends to come up next. When you’re ready to talk to someone, you can see Jeni’s Availability or read What to Expect in Your First Session.